Last night’s Insight episode was very interesting. It was refreshing to hear that people felt it was both the responsiblity of men and women to take control of their sexuality and remain virgins before marriage (in the context of much of the discussion, virginity in the vew of religious and cultural beliefs were being discussed). I do think if it’s important to you, regardless of your culture/ religion, then frankly, you’ll find the courage to remain a virgin before marriage. Now, let me make it clear. I’m talking about consesual sex, NOT rape. Rape is NEVER justified and NEVER the victim’s fault. That’s NOT what it means to lose your virginity.
Just a quick note. I don’t think it’s anyone’s right, even on religious grounds, to force someone to remain a virgin or become sexual. Each individual needs to make that decision themselves. If it’s on the grounds of faith, the individual needs to get a revelation on what’s right and what’s not. Just telling people not to have sex doesn’t work. Look at any statistics regarding virginity pledges and premarital sex in the U.S. At the end of the day, whether you remain a virgin or not has to be a personal choice.
In certain cultures, it’s the mothers that are responsible for making sure that their daughters remain virgins until they get married. Even though you can guide your children (boht boys and girls), to making right choices that fit your moral ideal, at the end of the day, people make their own choices and whether they follow your ideal is up to them.
Psychologist and sociologists agree that in parenting, it’s what you do, not what you say that has the biggest impact. Hypocrisy backfires.
In my personal opinion, I think it’s good to tell children to embrace their sexuailty and to value themselves as human beings, rather than imposing legalistic rules that are broken if aren’t backed up. Children and young people should be taught self – respect, consent and the right to say no, the right to be respected, and most importantly, the obligation to respect others, both same – sex and opposite se