I’ve been thinking a fair bit lately about being Asexual and what to do about the whole dating thing (I’m not planning on doing it anytime soon). It seems to be so daunting. One issue that has plagued my mind was what to do if you fall for someone who isn’t asexual? Should you give the relationship a fair go? What about sex? It just boggles my mind.
Look, most people can’t just ignore their sexual attraction and their own sexual needs. I don’t think it’s fair for anyone to force someone to sacrifice their own sexuality to be a part of a relationship.
I’ve read (usually on FB), a lot of hard stories about people being rejected by those who they have a crush/ are romantically attracted to because they’re asexual. In a lot of these cases, sex is often a point of tension. Some asexuals are happy to somewhat compromise and be willing to fulfill the desires of the other person. However, for some people, the idea of sex just irks them. Of course, it depends on the other party too. They may identify as straight/ gay/bi, etc, but can still live without frequent sex. Apparently though, this is quite rare.
People have often told me it’s to do with compromise; meeting each other halfway because every relationship is about give and take. When it comes to sex though, sometimes it’s easier said than done.
We can’t help who we’re attracted to, either romantically or otherwise. I guess every couple, whether asexual/ asexual or sexual/ asexual will alll have unique challenges. What I have come to realise though is that a relaitionship can’t work if one party if “forced to sacrifice a core part of their sexuality. In every relationship,both (or more) parties should be able to live in complete honesty with their own identity, beliefs, etc in the relationshp. In my opinion, if someone is forced into a situation like that, then the relationship isn’t meant to work out.