Obsession of “The One”

I’ll be honest: I don’t get (and doubt) this “The One” phenomenon (in the context of romantic relationships). To me, ths obsession with this idea of  finding and thinking of having”The One” seems to create more heartache than what it’s worth, especially in the context of online dating.

See, anyone can say anything and write anything down on paper (or on screen) and make it SOUND perfect. To put simply, people can say what the other person wants to hear. That’s where I think the myth of “The One” falls down and creates more heartache than what it’s worth. People can say (or type) exactly what they want. And on social media/ dating sites, it’s very easy to fall in love/ develop crushes on someone through the perception one portrays. And there maybe nothing wrong with that. A relationship may work out. But even if a relationship does turn into a reality, nobody is perfect. And very few people, if any willingly admit or display their faults online. We all like to put our best foot forward. But there comes a point in a relationship where truth will come out.

Researchers into online dating scames have said that people who create online daitng scams, fake profiles, etc focus either on heroism or drama. For example, it’s common for online dating scammers to say that they’re in the military and have been involved in conflict. I’m guessing it’s to create a somewhat “hero complex”. The other tactic they use is to create drama or tragedy to stir sympathy (and usually money) from those being scammed (I won’t extend anymore on this because that’s not what I’m talking about). 

Another thing that annoys me is when people say “there is someone out there for everyone”. What about those who remain single for all their lives (both asexual and not)? Have they missed something? Are they worth any less?  Have they missed something? It’s often said that humans are social and relational creatures (even though some people do prefer to spend a large majority of their time by themselves and that should be respected, too). But I don’t believe that a main focus should be focusing on this myth of finding “The One”. In fact, I believe that most people appreciate a large range of relationships: family, friendships, pets, etc. And as long as they’re healthy, than I think that’s all good.

All relationships worth having, romantic or not, require work and have ups and downs. Everyone has flaws and those flaws are most likely goiong to be known by loved ones. And I believe that it’s the ability to love others in spite of these that truly makes a relationship, whatever it may be work. And, just for argument’s sake, that’s true too, when you find “The One”.

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