Singleness Vs. Loneliness

Christmas is coming; often a time when families get together, exchange gifts, share a meal, exchange gifts and just relax together (or theoretically anyway. I’m aware that for many people it may not be so straightforward and cheerful).

However, many people, often single, will spend their Christmas by themselves. Now, for those who deliberately choose to be alone on Christmas Day, it’s no problem. But my heart breaks for those who are by themselves for Christmas and they may not have a choice, especially those who are widowed or have been estranged from immediate family. It’s sad to me that these people are often forgotten and abandoned at this time of year. If they’re lucky, they may have one or two people who may send them a Christmas card for the day, but still, when the day comes around, essentially they have no one that they can go to easily.

I know it’s a bleak picture and I’m seriously not trying to bring everyone down at this time of year. I just hope that everyone who reads this, asexual or not, has at least one family member or friend who they can spend Christmas Day with if they wish. And, I want to say especially to those who do identify as asexual, I hope that you won’t be lonely this Christmas. I hope everyone can find someone with whom they can share this time of year with.

Whether single or in a relationship (whatever that may mean for your situation), everyone deserves to enjoy Christmas and, for most people it’s with people they love. I hope for all of you, that this is a reality for you.

Everyone is Different!

I was watching a video on an asexual Facebook page called “You. Are. Sexual”. The host of the video strongly and quite passionately argued that labels are flawed, and even the Kinsey scale is too simplistic.

While I get his argument, and for the most part agree with it, I truly believe that many people DO fit the labels and are more than likely not going to change. There are some people, for example, who’ve known since the onset of puberty that they were asexual and haven’t experienced much to contradict that. Yes, some of those may experience some sexual/ physical attraction in the future that may cause questions. And, yes, I do agree that just because of one feeling, it doesn’t change your orientation. I get that. My argument is that, I believe that some people may go through their whole lives, regardless of sexual orientation, that won’t experience anything that contradicts that “label”. Those people shouldn’t be discarded by being told “no, sexuality is fluid. You’re not gay/ straight, etc. You really don’t fit anywhere”, when, by their own admission, they do identify with a certain label.

Here’s the thing, I get that sexuality isn’t necessarily black and white. However saying that everyone’s sexuailty is indefinable is just as flawed in my view as saying that everyone has a static sexuality. Everyone is different.