Fact: Most people take sexual feelings/ identity for granted. And they can’t help it, just as we, members of the asexual community can’t help not being able to experience sexual attraction no matter how hard we try or wish it wasn’t so.
Many of us try to gain empathy from non – aces, sometimes with success, sometimes not. But do we understand their viewpoint? if you grow up, for example in an environment where you’re family (brothers/ sisters, parents, family friends, etc), are all straight, then you grow up yourself, starting from purberty, feeling sexual attraction to the opposite sex, you didn’t have to question it, you just were, by nature, you probably lack a level of genuine understanding of what someone who isn’t cisgender and straight go through.
The asexual community has been trying to gain acceptance and understanding from allosexuals, sometimes for a long time. It can be frustrating, I get it. It can be scary, I definitely get that. But like they can’t expect us to know what it’s like to experience sexual attraction (or lack it, at least now), we can’t expect others to immediately empathise with us about our asexuality. Society takes sexuality for granted, largely because people naturally, through no fault of their own, take their sexuality for granted. I’m not saying that we should expect and accept teasing or abuse of any sort, but we should be open – minded and maybe view it from their viewpoint as well.
Think of it this way to; asexual advocacy and visibility has only been very recent. Most of society, education included, hasn’t grappled with it for very long (if it’s started to at all). Yes, some of the ignorance and at times misinformation that the media, for example spouts can be annoying, and even hurtful, frankly. But I want to believe that most people really do have good intentions. Hope that’s not being too naive.
So, I think we should be open to questions, maybe willing to offer sources of information, (e.g. AVEN and other websites), for us bloggers, to keep writing about our experiences and our thoughts, feelings and discoveries, and hopefully, one day, we’ll get to a point where it won’t be necessary any more and we can all just be happy and accept each other and have a huge cuddle party!