Being Able To Pass As Straight

There’s this idea in I’ve noticed on certain blogs about being able to ‘pass’ as being straight. That is, when looking at someone, you don’t automatically come across as not cisgender or straight. Even though I’ve never been in a relationship, for years (and for some people, probably even now), most people have classed me as straight. Some bloggers who’ve talked about this have pointed out some privileges that come with that, but I want to focus for a moment on why it can become problematic.

The biggest problem for me is my reluctance to set the record straight (no pun intended), when the topic comes up. When I first realised I was asexual, for example, I was having dinner with two friends and Tge topic of dating and marriage came up. Whilst I did participate in the discussion and went along with it, I felt a bit out of place. And there’s been other times when the conversation has come up and I just went along with it again. In fact, the only times I have mentioned asexuality, the conversation was started by me, often out of the blue.

How do you bring up asexuality if your among a group of friends in those conversations? Is there anyone who does bring if up there and the or do you just go along with it like I usually do?

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4 comments on “Being Able To Pass As Straight

  1. V says:

    Though my sexuality is far more visible than yours, I still run into this same circumstance quite often. When my friends are all talking about “straight” things, I tend to go along with it because I realize it’s not an attack against me or even ignorance on their part. It’s simply them talking about life from their perspectives and has absolutely nothing to do with my life or my perspective. If I choose to talk about LGBT things, they go along with those conversations as well. It’s well within reason for them to want to talk about the things that pertain to their lives and their sexualities.

    • saraharnetty says:

      I know it’s not an attack, so much. I get that. For me, I guess it’s just a feeling of like ‘huh?. I tend to go along as well. I guess my question was ultimately, was that, is that a time you may ‘pipe up’ and open about your experiences.

      So am I right in assuming you don’t feel the need to?

      • V says:

        That makes sense. I guess I never feel it’s necessary, but I also don’t feel like I can’t. If I have something to add from my perspective I do, but I never force it if it doesn’t really apply to the conversation. Chances are you and I think about it a lot more than other people do. I doubt it’s as big of a deal as we sometimes think it is.

      • saraharnetty says:

        True. I’ve got to point out (as I did in my post), it hasn’t happened to me for a while. It was just something that entered my mind. 🙂

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