Should Asexuals Use The Term ‘Queer’?

Should asexuals adopt the term ‘queer’? Where should the term be used?

Sometimes, debate is sparked,  both within and outside the asexual community about whether asexuality should be considered ‘queer’. An online survey published in ‘The Invisible Orientation: An Introduction to Asexuality revealed that 41% of respondents did identify with the ‘queer’ label. So is it? First, what is the definition of ‘queer’? Simple answer, depends who you ask.

If you look historically and socially, the term ‘queer’ is most often used as a slang term for gay. However, that strict definition has become to include more people: those who are Trans or not gender conforming, people who are a gender, people involved in kink/ fetish, and people who live non – traditional lifestyles, such as those involved in polyamory and sex work. Such a broad definition has faced some fierce criticism on Tumblr and other platforms from people who argue that gay people should use the term, and not people like asexuals.

So, is asexuality ‘queer’? I never use the term myself when talking/ blogging about asexuality. It never really crosses my mind to be frank. I’ve personally don’t have a problem with using it (in a non – insulting way). I think before it is used in any context, people’s feelings should be considered. The territorial nature of some people who argue that asexuals shouldn’t use the term I think are deliberately out to be divisive and are unnecessarily antagonistic. I understand that many LGBT have been and still face persecution. I’m not denying that. But there is something I want to point out too: most of us (well the ones I’ve seen on Facebook), want to ally with the LGBT. Many do rally at Pride parades in their cities and even support gay marriage. Some asexuals are even same – sex attracted themselves; not sexually, but romantically (homoromantic, bi – romantic,etc). Not exactly the same thing, I don’t think many people, if anyone, pretends that it is. Just let those people in!

As mentioned before, some people use the term ‘queer’ to describe non – normative sexual lifestyles that is not necessarily anything to do with one’s sexual/ romantic orientation. I don’t have any issue a about it personally. I just hope debates like this don’t cause unnecessary division and hostility.

What do you think about the term ‘queer’? Host should it be used, if at all?

3 comments on “Should Asexuals Use The Term ‘Queer’?

  1. Kyra says:

    I occasionally describe myself as a “queer asexual.” I have no sexual attractions or urges, but there are people I find aesthetically attractive, regardless of gender, and I’ve been in two serious romantic relationships, both of which lasted several years. One was with a straight cis-man, and the other was with a polyamorous bisexual woman. So because of my romantic relationships, I consider myself pretty firmly on the queer spectrum.

    I think as long as people are respectful, it’s not a problem to label themselves in whatever way resonates most with them.

  2. I consider myself a queer asexual because while my sexual orientation is asexual, my romantic orientation can’t be qualified as anything BUT queer. And as a female asexual dating another cisgender female, I think I 100% deserve to be part of the LGBT community. I face the same discrimination as any other girl who dates girls; it’s not like people on the street are going to come up to me when I’m holding my girlfriend’s hand and ask me to identify myself fully.

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