Same – Sex Marriage Is Not About Love

Before you cyber – thump me, just hear me out. A few nights ago, on ‘The Project’, there was a story about an elderly Australian female couple who go married in New Zealand. Of course, on the show, ( I watched the segment on FB), and below the link, an inevitable debate erupted. The usual arguments, both for and against were put forward. Then, a couple of hours later, something came to me… The pro same – sex marriage isn’t about love. Not entirely anyway. It’s about gay, lesbian and other same – sex couples (bisexuals in same – sex relationships, asexuals etc), being viewed both equal under the law and socially as being the equivalent to married heterosexual couples. It’s seen as one less form of discrimination that the LGB people have to face, sometimes on a daily basis. I think the reason why so many heterosexual people have jumped on the ‘pro’ side of the same – sex marriage debate so strongly is because most people know or is close to someone in who is LGB and/ or in a same – sex relationship. These people are connected because a loved one of friend is. I can can hear the arguments already… ‘Marriage is about children. Gays can’t reproduce…’ Look, just save it. Frankly, I’m not keen on having the arguments rehashed. I just wanted to put forward another take on the never – ending same – sex marriage debate

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Self – Esteem and Mental Health

Not related to asexuality, but related to self – esteem. It can be hard. And it can also be hard when you fear rejection. This song comes to mind. As it says in the chorus:

You’ve got nothing to lose/ you don’t lose when you lose fake friends.

Enjoy. ūüôā

 

Privilege and the LGBT

So, according to Mamamia, actress Cate Blanchett admitted to having a number of same Рsex relationships off Рscreen in an interview for Variety magazine. Actresses like Cameron Diaz and Drew Barrymore have also admitted to same Рsex experience.

According to imdb, she’s been married to Andrew Upton¬†since 1997. Is it just me, or is it become fashionable for celebrities to admit that they had same – sex sexual experience, even if it was in adolescence, which is generally accepted as quite common anyway? Is it becoming a “fashion” if you will?

Yes, yes, some people do experience fluidity in their sexuality. Some people are not 100% straight or 100% gay, get it, get it. But does the overkill of media exposure of this sort end up over trivialising what many LGBT+ people go through? Does it give an impression that gay, lesbian, bisexual and even homoromantic and bi – romantic asexuals (and pan romantic and pansexuals I might add), can just “snap out” of their attractions? Do these people, who are already in privileged positions, actually (unintentially) somewhat trivialise what some LGBT+ actually go through in regards to discrimination, stigma, violence and mental illness that they often face?

 

Here’s the thing: one argument that, particularly the gay and lesbian community have made over the past 30 years is that they can’t choose, nor change, who their attracted to. Scientifically, there is still questions surrounding the exact cause of one’s sexual orientation. And now, bisexual people are trying to get across that, yes, they are attracted to both men and women, not it’s not a fad or phase, and no it doesn’t necessarily mean that they want to sleep around, etcetera, etcetera.

 

Here’s one thing I’ll say about being asexual, and I’m guessing it’s similar for most LGB people: I’m not asexual because it’s hip or makes a statement. I’m asexual because I simply don’t feel physical attraction to anyone regardless of gender. I cannot just suddenly “turn” my attractions on, any more than a gay person can “turn” their innate atractions off. It is an innate part of who I am. Now, if Blanchett is or was attracted to women at some point, or she was experimenting, whatever, then that’s what it was. Fine. But can the media stop fetishising the LGBT+ community and make it sound like it’s just something cool and hip? Because it’s not. Like I said, it’s a part of who a person is.

70 Followers!

I can’t believe I have SEVENTY WORDPRESS FOLLOWERS ON THIS BLOG!!! It’s getting big! For those who follow, thank you. For those who comment and like, thank you. For those who skim through, thank you to you as well. Thank you to you all.

Just A Thought…

Roughly 2% of the population are gay; probably another 0.6% are bi. I would say 20 – 25% of asexuals are romantically attracted to members of the same – sex (that’s just my guess). By my calculations, that’s ¬†2.625% of the population (given 1% of people are asexual) will be essentially be able to marry someone of the same – sex if it was legalised. Yet, everyone else says it affects them? Hmmmm…. I say this because I think there has been too much fear in the debate, and I admit, I’ve bought into it. Currently, there is little movement to change the ‘Marriage Act (1961) to accommodate for same – sex couples. However, there have been rifts in the Labor Party after Deputy Leader, Tanya Plibersek tried to force the rest of the party to make a unanimous vote to change the Act rather than a conscience vote. This has caused outrage by both sides, including Opposition Leader Bill Shorten. But why does the conversation get everyone so heated? It’s like society will collapse if it happens. On the other extreme, same – sex marriage proponents try to damn anyone who even questions the move. Because of all this, I generally don’t like to join this debate. In truth, I’m torn about it. It’s just I’m getting sick of the fierceness and people don’t seem to debate the topic logically. Do you feel like the same – sex marriage debate is becoming to heated? Have you become fatigued over the debate?