This post is for the December Carnival of Aces.
Is it better for an asexual to come out or stay in the closet? Probably depends who you ask. Some would say that it’s good to come out to increase visibility. Yet, others argue that it’s no one’s business. I can see both sides.
I can understand (and agree to a degree), that someone’s sexuality is jo one’s business. In an ideal world, that would be true. Yet, (maybe this is just me), people are more open about sexuality. People talk to them friends on who has a crush on who, who’s going out with who, who’s getting married, etc. this is where the ‘con’ is.
Being asexual and not being open about it, especially if you’re being quiet out of fear of a backlash, can be lonely. And, quite frankly , I’ve realised being too afraid to open up can exacerbate self – loathing of low self – esteem. To be quiet honest, for example, the more I’ve opened up about this blog (which is a coming out of sorts, I guess), and knowing that my world hasn’t gone to hell in a hand basket, has given me more confidence in who I am and knowing that people accept me for who I am, not who I’ve tried to pretend to be in the past, has been a weight lifted off me. For those with higher self – esteem in the first place, this may not be such a big deal, but it has been to me.
In a perfect world, who you’re attracted to (or not attracted to) wouldn’t matter. Unfortunately, I still don’t think that’s the case, including for asexuals.