I was reading a post on the blog ‘Tge Querrness’about ‘political lesbianism’ and why it’s a flawed concept. I found a particular part quite interesting:
Lesbian is a term for gay women bi women and pan women lay claim to because it is a term that is used to assert whatone’s sexuality is
Now I’m not here to be some language police. But I’m curious, how many bi or pan women describe themselves as ‘lesbians’ even if they are in a woman/ woman relationship?
I have seen terms kike ‘gay asexual’ and ‘asexual kesbians’ being used on social media, but not in rekation to bi or oan women.
Question to those who identify as bi, do you ever use the term gay/ lesbian to describe yourself or your relationship/s?
Sexual orientation and sexual preference are often talked about as different concepts. Sexual orientation is often defined as an innate attraction to people. People argue that it’s not a choice. However, sexual preference is often seen by both the gay and straight community as a choice. Don’t they generally go hand – in – hand. People who are straight most often prefer to have sexual relations with the opposite sex and the opposite for gay people? Of course, the group that this “sexual orientation = innate/ sexual preference = choice” argument would likely apply to people who are bisexual or those who, for one reason or another don’t fit the gay/ straight pidgeon holes.
Then again, are people who are bisexual or other orientation less likely to fall for people spontaneously? Do they deliberately think, ‘hmmmm, I’m going to fall for a woman today’? I doubt it. I have argued on here before that people should ALWAYS exercise choice in whether they have sex and with whom. But that is different to who you’re attracted to or (in the context of bisexuals and bi – romantics), how strongly you are attracted to a certain gender. Again, the main choice is if and how someone acts on those attractions. That applies to all orientations, including people who are asexual.
I suppose it may apply to people who bi – curious when they originally identify as straight (or gay). But then again, what about the biological and neurological processes that would take place? Are they simply a matter of choice? I remember back in high school (Year Ten onwards), no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t for the life of me experience attracted to others. No matter what I did, the thought of even dating guys made me uncomfortable (no offence to men out there). Sex has pretty much always been foreign to me. Did I “choose to be so indifferent to sex? I don’t think so. In fact, I would argue that at times I wish I felt the opposite. I wish I could get my act together, become straight and be “normal”. So my “preference sexually is ‘none’ because that’s how I’m oriented.
What do others think? Do you think sexual orientation and sexual preference go hand – in a- hand and are the same or different?
I had a bit of a discussion on here (on WordPress, not on this blog), about whether sexuality is fluid or whether most people, especially women, are bisexual to some degree. Even though I respect the argument that sexuality doesn’t change (and for a lot of people, it may not) , I still can’t help but think that sometimes sexuality isn’t necessarily static.
The thought of most people being bisexual to a certain degree got me thinking about where does that leave asexual people in regard to romantic orientation? Are most asexual people at least partly bi – romantic? If so, where does that leave people who are aromantic? Are they all at least slightly grey – romantic?
Maybe there isn’t necessarily a one – size – fits – all answer. Maybe sexuality is just much more complex than we like to admit.