Asexuals, Bisexuals, Pansexuals and LGB Language

I was reading a post  on the blog ‘Tge Querrness’about ‘political lesbianism’ and why it’s a flawed concept. I  found a particular part quite interesting:

Lesbian is a term for gay women bi women and pan women lay claim to because it is a term that is used to assert whatone’s sexuality is

Now I’m not here to be some language police. But I’m curious, how many bi or pan women describe themselves as ‘lesbians’ even if they are in a woman/ woman relationship?

I have seen terms kike ‘gay asexual’ and ‘asexual kesbians’ being used on social media, but not in rekation to bi or oan women.

 

Question to those who identify as bi, do you ever use the term gay/ lesbian to describe yourself or your relationship/s?

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Why ‘Come Out’?

Before, I read a blog post (didn’t finish it admittedly), about a lesbian mother of young children and her struggle to ‘come out’ to strangers she comes in contact with. My question was ‘why’? To family or friends, if you feel secure enough. But strangers? Then, I realised, everyone does it. Let me explain.

People, especially women, often freely, talk about their family and relationships, spouses, etc. If you’re not in a traditional, heterosexual relationship/ marriage, what do you say when the conversation turns to you? I’ve been there, especially in my early 20’s. What do we say? I stayed silent, for most of the time. When I did speak, I mostly just went along with the conversation, kind of just went with the tide.

Frankly, the most awkward conversation is when I asked when I ‘like’ anyone (meaning man). I say, ‘no’, and for the most part, that’s where the conversation ends. That’s fine. But sometimes, I want more. I want to say, ‘welllllll, actually’….. and tell the person/ group the truth. Well, the basics anyway. This is why this blog is good for me, frankly. My posts appear on my Facebook wall (and Twitter feed), and, although I was reluctant at the start, I’m glad that it’s getting out there, and people I know (hopefully), are coming to know me as an asexual (I son’t really talk about romantic orientation). It’s been really positive, actually. There hasn’t been a backlash and no ‘unfriends’, so that’s good.

So, I guess everyone ‘comes out’ in everyday conversation, in a way; talking about martiage, kids, who likes who, etc. it’s just in reality, for those of us who don’t fit the ‘norm’, so to speak, it’s not good or bad (most of the time for me, anyway), it’s just another dimension I sometimes find myself thinking about. I’m sure it’s the same for others too (not all). Sounded like a dilemma for the mother I was reading about, too.