Apparently, some Australian men are finding it hard to compliment a woman that they don’t know in fear of it being taken as sexist. However, columnist for Sydney’s Daily Telegraph, Sarrah Le Marquand, has lamented that men aren’t forward enough. I want to make my own point.
I don’t mind genuine compliments. In fact, I love them, whether from men or women. Of course, chances are that I’ll become uncomfortable if the so – called ‘compliments ‘ become incredibly suggestive. Regardless of orientation (or gender, for that matter), don’t most people have a basic idea of what will likely to be appropriate and what’s not? Like saying ‘you look lovely in that dress’, or ‘I love your haircut’, without getting sleazy about it? Maybe just be sensitive to the other person’s cues? Are they receptive? Do they look uncomfortable? Because you want to compliment someone to make them feel better, don’t you? Like I said at the start of the post, I love getting compliments. However, I’m also a big believer in respecting the sensitivities (cultural, etc). So, out it simply.
- Keep it clean (Just say: ‘I like your….’)
- Beware of cues (body language, etc). If they express any discomfort, don’t take it personally, but don’t push it
- basically, it all boils down to one word…. RESPECT!
Last night, I watched the end of American Pie: Book of love. Basically, the plot line is three young guys, Rob, Marshall and Kevin find a book called “The Book of Love” (a.k.a “The Bible”), written by Mr. Leaven stein in their high school’s library. Rob, Kevin and Marshall are desperate to lose their virginities and finally get in contact with Levenstein. Anyway, to cut a long story short, with a number of misadventures and mistakes, the boys learn that they have to respect the the girls they want, including respecting boundaries that are put in place by the women.
What I found refreshing about this film, among all the smut, was that sexism and the objectifying of women was actually frowned upon by the end of the film. The guys were eventually admonished, to treat the women they are interested in.
To me, that is a great message to tell young people. Also another great message from the film is that people should stand their ground with a potential partner and have that respected or the relationship, frankly, isn’t worth it.
This film has a great message for young men and women. For people of any orientation, you have a right to be heard and a right to put boundaries to be put in place and have them respected. For the American Pie team, I say, kudos to you!
For those who have seen it, what did you think?
I have a really good friend who is a guy. He’s just under two years younger than me. Nothing has, or ever will happen between us, even if I was straight. He’s currently got a partner who is expecting a baby.
i do not get the whole expectation of chemistry between opposite – sex friends. You can’t be attracted to EVERYONE of the gender/s you’re attracted to, can you? Some women actually prefer friendships with men because they think they have less drama (and no, they’re not gay).
i wonder if the over – sexualisation of male/ female relationships is the driving force of sexism in society (or worse). Why can’t we treat each other like human beings first and develop a culture of respect for the opposite gender as well as ourselves?
Maybe it’s too easy for me, as an asexual to make such a comment. I mean I don’t know what it’s like to be physically attracted to someone. My argument is that men and women can be without sexual tension hovering over their heads.
Has anyone got a really good/ best friend of the opposite sex?