Kudos to ABC

The ABC (Australian) did a good article on asexuality on their website yesterday. Not only that, the article is actually about an relationship both parties identify as asexual. Most media items on asexuality, at least that I find, tend to focus on aromantic or single asexuals. The fact that it’s a same – sex couple is another thing that should be pointed out. When asexual relationships are represented in the media, it’s often hetero – romantic/ opposite sex relationships that make the headlines. This is an interesting change. Politically charged?… Actually, I’m not even to go there.

As you probably aware if you’ve read this blog in the past, you may realise that I often offer a sort of evaluation on media utems about asexuality.bthis is deliberate abd something I don’t apologise for. I believe that asexual – both romantic and aromantic – deserve proper representation. Young people (and even older people), who may be concerned about feeling ‘different’, or confused about their sexuality should know that asexuality s a valid possibility. Non – asexual (allosexual) allies, also deserve information that’s accurate so they know the experiences of their asexual partners, friends orcfamily. Asexual people can’t expect allosexual people to be experts on asexuality right off the bat. That’s why accurate depictions of asexual people and their relationships is so important.


Most media coverage on asexuality – at least of late – has been quite good. I really hope it continues. Then, maybe, we’ll get to the point that asexuality doesn’t need so much awareness because it’ll be treated as just another orientation, just another way a small member of people experience attraction (or lack of, as in this case). That’s my hope anyway. It’s a hope I think will become realised soon.


What articles/ TV items, etc, have you seen/ read on asexuality recently? Dovyou think the information they provided was fair? Please don’t hesitate to share your thoughts.


My Experience Speaking About Asexuality On Social Media

Let me say this from the outset, I know that for many LGBT+ people worldwide, coming out can be downright dangerous. Many LGBT+ people can face harassment, bullying, family abandonment, ‘corrective’ rape, spiritual abuse, etc. I get that and in no means minimising that because for too many people it is still a dark reality.

Having said that, for the past couple of months, this week in particular, I’ve posted a fair bit of asexuality awareness pictures from groups and pages and the response I’ve received has been all positive. I’m really, really pleasantly surprised about that. I’ve even posted one on coming out as a member of the LGBT+ community

B.                                              image

For those who can’t read the text, it says:

You don’t come out as gay, lesbian, bisexual, asexual, ps sexual, transgender, etc. you come out as yourself.

I’ll be the first to admit, I’m super, super lucky with the friends and family I have. That’s not to say that posting all this stuff or actually writing/ talking about asexuality and LGBT+ topics in general haven’t made ms nervous. The voice inside my head hasn’t always been positive (quite the opposite actually). Will the nerves stay away complete,y? Probably not. But it has given me the courage to be more open and honest about asexuality and related topics. I’m willing to answer (reasonable) questions if need be.

I’m confident that asexuality awareness is going in the right direction.

I may may be a rare case. Have you posted anything on social media about asexuality and/ or LGBT+ issues? If so, what’s been your experience?

MAMA MIA! Another Article On Asexuality!

Anyone who has read any posts on this blog, I hit the roof when asexuality is mentioned in the media. It always brings a bit of tension. What’s going to be said? Are we going to be mocked? Pathologised?

Today, I stumbled on a blog post about asexuality on the blog, Mamamia (“This is What It’s Like To Live Without Sex” – Thursday September 25 Jo Qualmann).

It was brilliant! First, Jo Qualmann is herself, an asexual. She has been very open in the media about asexuality, including in Cleo magazine and on SBS’s “The Feed” earlier this year. So, now, she adds Mamamia to her list of media contributions.

I applaud Mamamia publisher, Mia Freedman first and foremost, for letting Qualmann write the article and publishing it. Thank you for letting Jo tell her personal story and getting asexuality more visibility.

A big applause should also go out to Australian Sexual Health sex therapist, Desiree Spierling for her comment at the end of the article. She acknowledged struggles faced by a number of asexuals without treating it like something that should be fixed. She basically pointed out that much of the struggles that asexuals face are within society and to do with confusion bought on by invisibility, not because asexuality is a disorder. To quote Donkey from ‘Shrek 2’ “Oh finally!”.

So, I’ll say it once again, Jo Qualmann, great article and to the Mamamia team, THANK YOU.

Acknowledge Recognition For the Asexual Community

It can be frustrating being misrepresented, sometimes mocked, or pathologised in the media and society in general. It’ can be disheartening and upsetting. But I do believe there is  a lot of positive that has happened,  in the media. Here’s a few I can name (both on and offline).

  • The US Cosmopolitan website did a brillliant article on two anonymous asexual women. The article asked for their experiences without judging (from the article anyway, read about it in “Kudos to US Cosmo” post’).
  • The Feed did a great presentation earlier this year when Asexual blogger/ activist Jo Qualmann spoke of her experiences
  • Even on “The Project”, Carrie Bickmore (in particular), defended asexuals and was very polite. The story on asexuality itself was actually quite good.
  • A few years ago, Australia’s “Cleo’ did a feature on Asexuality (featuring Qualmann). It was very well written (albeit brief)

Just wanted to post some positive points about asexual visibility. It’s getting out there. For those who feel down over asexuality and it’s portrayal (or lack of), I truly believe that it’s only a matter of time until asexuality is treated as just a factor of life. Are we there yet? No. But I believe we will.

We Should Be Open For Queries And Expect Questions, But We Deserve Respect

On “The Project” before, they did a story on asexuality. I was chuffed when I heard about it initially. However, I found the end offensive when one of the panellists scoffed and said it was “ridiculous” that people identified as asexual.

On the up side, I’m glad that asexuality is being discussed in the media and most of the coverage is quite good (albeit bit too brief), however, tonight on “The Project”, I was quite offended by of some of the disrespect on the panel. There is no need for it for anyone, regardless of orientation or anything else.

I think the asexual community need to be open to questions and even, to some extent, mistaken assumptions. Like I’ve said before, there has been a lack of exposure and research into asexuality until recently (as opposed to other sexualities), and like I’ve said, the asexual community hasn’t had the same political struggles as the LGBT. However, I found out tonight, we need to fight for respect, at least sometimes.

On the flip side, I just browsed both Facebook and Twitter and I was touched by most of the comments supporting asexual people and the fact that most people actually did acknowledge that it was a genuine orientation and the calls for it to be respected.

Did anyone else in Australia see the segment? What did you think?