Monthly Archives: September 2013

Always Been Asexual? Always Be Asexual?

I was just thinking before; have I always been asexual? I mean, I thought for a while that in the past, it’s been fluid, but, come to think of it, sex or sexual attraction has never made sense to me. I get and respect that people get them, but I’ve never understood them personally. Even as a kid and teenager, I never got the whole link between love and sex. It was always you love someone to death and that’s it.

As a kid, I liked the fairytales and had thinking tha so and so was cute, but it was never a “lust” or “physical” thing. My understanding of sex was always what I was told, rather than experienced. The older I got, the more I realised that I wasn’t wired that way, especially from 16 onwards.

Will I ever identify as non – asexual? I’m not sure, but I’ll admit, the more I think about it, and the older I get, I kind of doubt it, but then again, you never know.

What is True Love

Just watching a Dr. Phil episode about a marriage that went south really badly to divorce, but the ex couple are still living together (unfortunately, I have seen it before at least once). It got me thinking, what is “true love”? If a marriage can go sour to the point that even after divorce, there’s still such hostility.

It made me think, “what is true love”? Does it exist in a romantic/ sexual context? What causes “lovers” to betray each other, cheat on each other, or break out in violence.

Apparently, the concept of “soul mates’ or “kindred spirits” originated from the Buddhist/ Hindu belief of reincarnation. Is there a non – spiritual, scientific explanation? Well, the science behind sexual attraction (and even romantic attraction) is fairly extensive. Certain hormones are said to be responsible for sexual attraction, romantic attraction, bonding and some scientists even suggest that certain hormones makes a partner more likely to cheat.

There’s books, seminars and countless media reports about the ‘secrets” to how make a relationship work, yet, relationships seem to go to hell pretty dramatically.

Nobody is perfect, and there is no such thing as a perfect relationship. There are certain people who are “right” for us, but I don’t think it will always feel “right”. At the end of the day, love, whether romantic or even platonic, is respect for the other, taking away the rose – coloured glasses and looking at reality, being able to live peacefully with the other person and having self – respect. In my opinion, once that goes out the window, the relationship/ friendship is gone.

So, is there such thing as “true love” in a romantic context? My answer is “Yes” and “No”. Yes, if two people are meant to be together, than they’ll both consent to it and live as such. But “No” in the sense that there’s no “perfect” match. Toxic relationships aside, each party has to WANT the relationship to work. And that means sticking at it when good times are (hopefully temporarily) out the window.

I think the PInk song “True Love” does some it up: love is sometimes full of contradictions. You can’t live without each other, but you can’t live without them either, you want to hold them and leave them at the same time…. it’s all a part of it, I guess. But of course, there is  a time to say enough is enough.

Heterosexual Awareness Month (HAM) FB Page

On Facebook, there’s a  page called Heterosexual Awareness Month (apparently there’s a website of the same name). It appears to be an extremely homophobic and brutal page, supposedly “promoting” heterosexual pride” trying to escape from the “gay agenda”. If you look it up on Google, you’ll get some websites, and even a YouTube video saying it’s satire to actually in a sense, make fun of homophobia rather than endorse it.

Even though I can see the argument that it could be seen as biting satire (possibly black humour), the page is brutal. Members of the page don’t seem to be open up for discussion about issues such as the formation of sexual orientation or having a decent discussion about theology regarding homosexuality. Frankly, I don’t see any of it as funny, and frankly, I’ve even thought of reporting it so it can be shut down. Not because I’m against free speech, but, I think some of it borderlines bullying. Some of the discussions, especially when opposing views are expressed, are just plain nasty.

My biggest gripe with it, whether it’s satire/ black humour or a serious hate campaign, someone can come across it, take it badly and have their lives ruined because of it (e.g. suicide, etc). Cyber bullying, can never, EVER been condoned and I often umm and aahh whether this page is actually frankly, a form of cyber bullying against LGBT people. Online hate campaigns can’t be condoned, considering it can have such dire consequences, such as youth suicide.