Earlier this month, America’s Cosmopolitan did an online article “Sex Talk: Asexuality”. And I just want to say a big kudos to Rachel Hill who wrote the article.
Two young women who identified as asexuals asked a number of questions. Not once did Hills or anyone else pathologise asexuality like a lot of articles do. They also asked women gor their own personal EXPERIENCES rather than stereotypes. That was so refreshing!
So, to the American Cosmo team, I say a big THANK YOU and great article!
Response to Tom Elliot’s editorial piece: “Nothing Natural About Celibacy”:
Dear Mr. Elliot
I want to respond to the editorial piece you wrote ‘Nothing Natural About Celibacy’ (Herald Sun, 30/8/2014, p. 15). A quote jumped out at me when I was reading it:
Physical intimacy with a significant other is a normal and fundamental part of human existence
For most people, I repeat MOST PEOPLE this is the case. But it isn ‘t the case for a small number of people (e.g. people who are asexual). Why do I bring this up? Because it’s true. I’m on of those people. Right back from my sex and emotional intimacy didn’t necessarily go hand in hand. All crushes I’ve had have never been physical, always emotional. Throughout my life, unless my orientation changes, that’s going to continue to be the case.
Why did I bring this up? Because I’m tired of people like me getting either completely ignored in the media or having our feelings invalidated. We do exist! I can’t just ‘make’ myself sexual ( if there’s a form of re- orientation therapy that I haven’t heard about and it’s actually scientifically PROVEN to work, tell me about it I’m interested (I honestly doubt it though).
I honestly respect the fact that MOST humans have an innate drive to seek out a sexual partner. My argument, is that not EVERYONE has that drive and it would be great if that could be acknowledged.
What’s going on in your world? What do you want me to post about? Feel free to share! I’ll write posts on comments I get.
Note to all the non – aces out there – if someone you know has told you that they’re asexual PLEASE show respect toward them. You don’t have to ‘get it’ , just respect you’re friend/ partner/ relative who has told you that they’re asexual. I’m lucky that identifying as asexual hasn’t stirred too much drama, but not everybody is so lucky.
A conservative commentator was accused of misogyny after criticising the former Governor General for her role in international matters over a year ago. So a middle – aged man, who’s married, and who has actually vocally condemned a very insensitive comment toward another woman is now a misogynist?
This political correctness and using such terms as a means to attack someone who has made a critical comment, which, by the way, had nothing to do with gender (from what I could understand), is not just political correctness gone mad, but I truly believe, waters down the suffering that women really face misogyny around the world. Real abuses go on around the world. Women are devalued, not given legal rights, are victims of violence because they are women, sexual harassment is often brushed aside and many women find it virtually impossible to get justice after being attacked in many cases. These are what I consider examples of misogyny.
I have said it before that political correctness backfires. We can’t get to the point that terms like ‘misogyny’ are so overused that no one takes cases that should be given the time of day.
People really suffer discrimination around the world, whether misogyny, racism, homophobia, etc. People even die or face severe violence because of who they are. It’s not something to be trivialised.
Currently, I’m studying Diploma of Early Childhood Education and Care. It will allow me to work in various childcare settings, including preschools.
Today, I thought about if I’d ever have children of my own. That’s been another thing in my life that has been really made me quite uncertain for nine years. When I was younger, (before sixteen), having children was a given, at least in my mind. Over time, the number of children was anywhere from two to twelve (true story. It plummeted back at two when I did the “Baby a Think It Over” program in Year Nine).
Now I’m not so sure how it’ll pan out. I’m not really that obsessive anymore about having children. I have thought about different possibilities, if it were to happen.
By no means, am I ready to have children yet, which brings another point to mind. I’m in my mid 20’s and I don’t think I want to wait too much longer from when I’m 30 if I weds to have any at all. That gives me about give or so years to work it out, which, when you think about it, isn’t that long.
These questions are aimed at asexual people in particular. Do you have children? If not, do you want any? Has a desire to have children changed over time?
Before I was sixteen, I always assumed that I’d get married one day. I think that assumption was throw out the window when I was sixteen, and definitely whe I fully identified as asexual just before the age of twenty – one. Please note, I get asexual people get married. I’m not knocking that. It’s just for me personally, identifying as asexual to me, threw it out e window.
What do I think of marriage in general? I believe in life – long monogamy, to be honest (easy for me to say, I know). I believe that, for most people, sexual and romantic attraction plays a major role in who people choose to marry (in the West anyway). I don’t think that’s necessarily a bad thing. It’s just the way it is for many people. Friendship is important, but I think it, at least starts as much more.
Will I ever get married? Well, I suppose you cant’t predict the future, but a part of me doubts it. As long as I have love in my life; friends, family, etc, that’ll be enough, at least for now.
What do you think of marriage? If you aren’t married, do you think you will? Why of why not?