Pope’s Address to the Gay Community in Brazil

It’s been huge news; Pope Francis says he “who I am I to judge gays?”. There’s been such hype over the comment like a revolution has just begun! While what he said was something that the Catholic church can be proud of, let’s make a few things clear:

• It doesn’t mean that Pope Francis condone’s “homosexual acts” (I”m convinced he doesn’t)
• It doesn’t mean he supports or is going to support gay marriage or other gay rights (he doesn’t and he won’t).
• In terms of accepting gay clergy, well, clergy are to remain celibate anyway according to Catholic tradition.
• He still denies that women can become ordained, even though he acknowledges the important role that women can play in the Catholic Church.

The Catholic Church would never ordain anyone who disagrees with, or pose to challenge Catholic doctrine or tradition. It’s just the way it is and, to be quite honest, I find it very hard to believe that it’s going to change anytime soon, if at all.

Don’t get me wrong, it’s great that Pope Francis is trying to reach out and clean up the reputation of the Catholic Church after all the controversies it’s experienced in the past, but it doesn’t change anything about tradiiton or doctrine.

Fluidity

Fluidity is a concept of sexuality that I think is starting to be talked about more often. More people who identify as straight, for example, admit to experiencing physical/ emotional attraction to members of the same – sex and even go as far as admitting to  having a same – sex relationship.

It does make sense to me. even though I find it to be one of the bizarrest things about being human. No matter how hard you try, sometimes, you just can’t shake it off. You either have feelings which deviate to your sexual orientation or you don’t. Even though British sex researcher, Alfred C. Kinsey popularise the theory fo sexuality being on a continuum and being a  heroic figure in the sexual revolution and gay rights of the 60’s and 70’s, his methodology and consequently, his findings, I believe are flawed. First, he ignored the relevance of romantic orientation in his findings and used rather minute details like virgin status to confirm his findings. Despite this, the Kinsey Scale is still widely accepted. I can see it’s relevance, despite the research methods he used.

Fluid sexuality (and even asexuality itself) really challenges how sexuality is traditionally taught. Even though fluid sexuality and lack of sexual desire may be mentioned in health books, there’s still not enough talk about it in the education system from what I can understand. And that’s sad, because it leaves a lot of students with more questions than answers. They’re left to feel weird and resentful that they don’t fit perfectly in a gay/ straight pidgeon – hole. Maybe it’s just something that everyone (or a lot of people) will just work out themeselves. I think it’s good to have more public awareness on the issue to help adolescence and even adults who feel crazy because they don’t fit any “box”. It may make many people’s lives a little bit easier.

Sexuality and Music

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ekMDxVylXgM

 

 

I love rock music. A lot of it anyway. I love the Seventies and Eighties the most, and some of 90’s and 2000’s like Nickelback. It’s just great to sit (or lay back), chill out or be in deep thought while listenig to music.

But how does music (particularly rock music) relate to sexuality> Well me, personally, of course, not a great deal.  I just heard it on the video above. Joan Jett made the comment that rock music, I’m guessing for her at least, was a form of sexual liberation for women, about ‘owning your sexuality” so to speak. Maybe she does have a point. When I first heard it,I thought, “what? I’m too busy bouncing off the walls when I listen to Suzi Quatro to think about that stuff”! However, I think she may have been on to something, but maybe a tad bit differently.

Rock music, from it’s origin in the mid 1950’s was a sign of the first evident major generational gap between the Baby Boomers and their parents. Ever since then, parents have protested and criticised the music a lot of their kids have listened to. There was a time, especially in the 1970’s, that rock music played a major role in the hippy movement and later the gay rights movements swamping much of the ’70’s. The androgyny of the glam rock movement, of both male and female artists challenged gender norms and in turn, gave LGBT a voice in society.

More on the pop side, the LGBT community have embraced disco (as can be heard on soundtracks like “Priscilla – Queen of the Desert), and since the 1980’s, the gay community have embraced the music of ABBA. For the LGBT community over the past 30 or so years, it was someithing to claim for themselves and create a commonality within their community while they were predomnately discriminated against by the rest of the world. Sor of like the generational gap reflected by different music since the 1950’s.

So, what does this mean to asexuals,or me personally? I kind of agree to some extent what Joan Jett was on about, but I believe it goes further. Music makes you think about what your take on the world is, It’s a form of self – expression, whether to do with sexuality, your interests, beliefs (religious and otherwise), and overall view of the world. Music, regardlesss of the genere, reflects teh complexity of the human race, both collectively and individually. Music exposes flaws, highlights injustices, but also creates a sense of self of individulas, especially for those who don’t fit the “norm”. It’s an identify tag that says “This represents a part of me. This is who I am. This is how I feel. This is where I fit in the world”. And, yes, for some people, a part of that is an individuals sexuality.

Thoughts on Dating

I’ve been thinking a fair bit lately about being Asexual and what to do about the whole dating thing (I’m not planning on doing it anytime soon). It seems to be so daunting. One issue that has plagued my mind was what to do if you fall for someone who isn’t asexual? Should you give the relationship a fair go? What about sex? It just boggles my mind.

Look, most people can’t just ignore their sexual attraction and their own sexual needs. I don’t think it’s fair for anyone to force someone to sacrifice their own sexuality to be a part of a relationship.

I’ve read (usually on FB), a lot of hard stories about people being rejected by those who they have a crush/ are romantically attracted to because they’re asexual. In a lot of these cases, sex is often a point of tension. Some asexuals are happy to somewhat compromise and be willing to fulfill the desires of the other person. However, for some people, the idea of sex just irks them. Of course, it depends on the other party too. They may identify as straight/ gay/bi, etc, but can still live without frequent sex. Apparently though, this is quite rare.

People have often told me it’s to do with compromise; meeting each other halfway because every relationship is about give and take. When it comes to sex though, sometimes it’s easier said than done.

We can’t help who we’re attracted to, either romantically or otherwise. I guess every couple, whether asexual/ asexual or sexual/ asexual will alll have unique challenges. What I have come to realise though is that a relaitionship can’t work if one party if “forced to sacrifice a core part of their sexuality. In every relationship,both (or more) parties should be able to live in complete honesty with their own identity, beliefs, etc in the relationshp. In my opinion,  if someone is forced into a situation like that, then the relationship isn’t meant to work out.

Why Are Signficant Others So Important To Young Adulthood?

So, most people want to have relationships, get married, etc. I get it and respect it. However, what I don’t get is that, if for some reason, you haven’t reached that point in your life or you haven’t kissed anyone (especially of the opposite sex), then you’re not whole. That’s the reason to lose weight for instance.

 My main gripe with that is that it inevitably makes certain people feel that they just aren’t worth it. This includes people who find it particularly hard to find a partner like many asexuals (I’ve read this on FB), people with a disability, and many others that don’t fit what society thinks is worthy.

And also too, what about people who actually choose to be single? Are these people supposed to feel like they shouldn’t be here? Some people are happy being “independent” and feel like they don’t need anyone as a romantic/ sexual partner. Some people are too suspicious of traditional relationships to get involved in one. That’s OK. Or at least it should be.

We need to be sensitive when dealing with people and relationships. Not everyone can be put into a box or live a certain way or be in a certain relationship when someone else dictates that they should. It just doesn’t work like that and people shouldn’t be treated like crap because of it.